Thursday, October 8, 2009

Today in Tales From the Douchoisie

Hello, Ducks! Can you guess what Google Reader threw up in my lap today? Did you guess Tucker Max? I didn't, which I guess is what makes it sexy...or something; I'm not up on my fratire. But let's check in, courtesy of The Frisky...

Oh, what? The fratire thing?

The Frisky: Gawker deemed you a “ham-fisted frat s***.” The feminist bloggers hate you. You’ve been called a “professional sexist,” “anti-feminist,” and a “promoter of rape culture.” The New York Times labeled your prose “fratire.”

TM: Hold on now. The New York Times was not insulting me when they called my writing “fratire.” In fact, they said I invented a new literary genre, one that defines a whole new generation of writers and readers. How is that an insult?

Yes, the brave new world of Two and a Half Men, Maxim, and Ketel One ads:


I think that this isn't exactly a new genre...unless you think that the needs, feelings, and emotions of young white dudes has been an underserved artistic destination for these last, um, 2,000 years.

Sigh. On y va...

The Frisky: Are you a “misogynist”?

TM: Complete bulls**t. A misogynist is someone who hates women. I love women. Everything I do is to impress women. Without women, I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning. Plus, half my fans are women. The people who call me misogynist are the ones who haven’t read or engaged my writing, and are just looking for a bogeyman to attack.

The Frisky: In your stories, women throw themselves at you. How many women have you slept with, and what advice do you give men on women?

TM: I have no idea how many women I’ve slept with. Probably more than 300, probably less than 600? I don’t keep count, because that would be super creepy.

Some women absolutely do throw themselves at me. I think part of it is that there are always some women that are into rich, famous, and powerful men. Then there is the artist aspect. Half my fans are women, and they are fans because they love my writing. There is the masculine thing; I am one of the few people in media who is unapologetically masculine, and that’s very attractive to some women.

You know? He's not a misogynist. Just a narcissist living in his own, private world where women flock to him to give him blowjobs, sexy girls (the only real girls: see Amanda Hess' brilliant "Anatomy of a Tucker Max Joke") never think he's being insulting to him, and "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" is...
...an awesome and groundbreaking movie, and great art always finds its way.
Box Office total, after two weeks: $960,425.

But wait! Ol' Tuck has an excuse for that!
It may not hit at the theater, but it will hit on DVD, and hit big.
Yeah, you and Joe Francis, amigo. Funny the company you keep.

4 comments:

  1. Wow, that's a really sad box office number for him!

    Also, "I don’t keep count, because that would be super creepy." LOL. Like he isn't super creepy in other ways?

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  2. He's pretty much creepy in all the ways :-)

    As for the box office, when even the NY Daily News gives you 0 stars, your movie sucks.

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  3. That sad little box office total makes me happy :) I was worried that "angering the feminists" would make any theater that played IHTSBIH like douchebag fly paper.

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