Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Now Let Us Abhor Wicked Men

I haven't had much to say about the Rihanna incident--where for "incident", I invite and encourage you to read "vicious beating inflicted upon her by an depraved, jealous boyfriend." Like a lot of folks I was appalled at the light sentence he received, incensed that once again money and fame insulate men from the consequences of their actions (but said money and fame didn't do squat for Rihanna) and moved on to the latest outrage.

Turns out, today everything old is new again! Because Chris Brown has kicked off his rehabilitation tour! (You know, the one where a douchebag guy goes on the talk shows, displays a vetted-level of contrition, promises to never do that again, mentions Jesus somewhere, and is immediately rehabilitated in public opinion so you never have to feel guilty about listening to/voting for/paying $12 bucks* to watch him again.)

Chris has hit upon an interesting rehab tactic, however: he claims he doesn't remember assaulting Rihanna:

King, whose interview airs on Wednesday night on CNN's "Larry King Live," asked Brown if he could remember the event, and the singer told him "no."

"I just look at it like, wow, I'm in shock, because, first of all, that's not who I am as a person, and that's not who I promise I want to be," Brown said in a video posted on CNN's website. "So when I look at the police reports or hear about the police reports, I just don't know what to think."

Hey, dude, guess what: that fucking is who you are as a person. A person who beats his girlfriend viciously and repeatedly. Even if you "can't remember" doing it.

Separately, Brown told People in a story for the issue on newsstands Friday that he still loves Rihanna. "I never fell out of love with her. That just wouldn't go away," Brown said.

Well, that seems to be the problem, since the assault started

...when Rihanna found a text message on Brown's phone from "a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with," according to CNN's story.

Yeah, he never fell out of love with her, provided he could get some on the side. And when the woman he "loved" argued with him about that, he attacked her. He assaulted her. He choked her. He bit her.

Brown, 20, said he was distraught the night of the event and "broke down" after he told his mother, who herself was a victim of an abusive relationship.

His mom, Joyce Hawkins, told People that Brown's confession was "the most painful moment of my life," and sitting with her son on Larry King's program, she said she was "totally shocked."

"I know that Chris has never, ever been a violent person. Never," Hawkins said.

I'm supposed to say something sympathetic here about the cycle of abuse. And honestly, I am sympathetic--there's no question that children who are abused, or whose parents have an abusive relationship, are more likely to abuse other people. But that sympathy kind of sputters to an abrupt halt when it includes putting a horrific beatdown on a woman. One that you claim you love.

I mean, it's not like Chris Brown was without resources to help him get over the abuse he'd suffered.

As for Ms. Hawkins...well, see above. And below:

But a story accompanying CNN's video cites a probation report for Brown stating he and Rihanna had two other abusive incidents: one a verbal argument in which Rihanna slapped him and he shoved her, and a second in which he broke the windshields of a rented car while she was with him.

Yeah. Never violent at all.

Of course, the thing is...the thing is. Bloggers like me will write about this. Lots of women and well-thinking men will get outraged. People will be upset. Hell, Rihanna will even do a revenge song about Chris Brown.

And he'll probably go on ultimately like it never happened. And the next time some rich and powerful douchebag beats his girlfriend, he'll go on TV and do his contrition waltz and the rich and powerful douchebag interviewers will pronounce their absolution and it will all go on and on and on again.

Because they know they can wear us down with all the other outrages they throw at us every day, while their patience seems unlimited.


  1. Great post, as always; but, while I would have liked that track to be revenge, according to Rihanna and Lady Gaga's reps it's a fake.

  2. "When the truth and the legend conflict, print the legend." ;-)

  3. I second the "Great post" comment.

    Is this sentence light in terms of similar dv cases in the US?

    In the UK it is rare for a case of dv to result in a prison sentence.

  4. "I'm supposed to say something sympathetic here about the cycle of abuse. And honestly, I am sympathetic--there's no question that children who are abused, or whose parents have an abusive relationship, are more likely to abuse other people"

    Ugh, you know, I am so over the sympathy over the cycle of abuse thing. Abuse is a choice. I have the non-privilege of being the daughter of abusers and the ex-girlfriend of an abuser. What got me to leave eventually is this simple truth - every single act is a decision. I have seen the same expression over and over, just before they do something shitty, and the expression is very clearly of a person spotting and taking an opportunity. It is never a spontaneous and involuntary act.

    Chris Brown? You are 100% abhorred. Now go die someplace obscure.