Sunday, May 31, 2009

Bromantically Linked

Hello ducks! If you are like me, you watch television. (Actually, if you are like me, you watch too much television--stop it! It's keeping you from doing better things, like read this blog!) And if, like me, you watch too much TV, then you've probably seen commercials for the next great man-child movie, The Hangover.

Of course, it may be difficult to pick out this new film from the constant swirl of frattish comedies--after all, it's Judd Apatow's world now, we just live in it. Never fear, though, ducks! The New York Times, in its ongoing mission of reminding us that all the news fit to print is by, for, and about men, has an article about The Hangover's creator, Todd Phillips.

In fact, the article makes Mr. Phillips out to be some sort of seer to the doucheoisie, a sort of guru of the frat boy picture. (In fact, one of his first movies was called, um, Frat House.) Mr. Phillips, in case you didn't know, is the auteur behind Old School, Road Trip, and Starsky and Hutch. (Disclosure: I actually enjoyed the last one for the chemistry between Stiller and Wilson. I'm not perfect, ducks.) All in all, he has a portfolio that makes him the Apatow-lite, a secondary purveyor of the immature bromance.

Never fear, though: The Times breathlessly reports:
That doesn’t mean “The Hangover” can’t aspire to be the most grown-up work in Mr. Phillips’s unapologetically immature portfolio.
Well, that's a relief--not the least because he doesn't apologize for his movies! No, Todd Phillips is proud of his films! He wants you to squirm while watching--that is, if you are not an immature man-child (or at least aspire to be one.)

But wait! He's not content for simple metaphysical torture--at least, where his actors are concerned:
Mr. Phillips does not always get his way. For a scene in which a police officer tests his stun gun on the guys, the director wanted his actors to be shot with a live Taser. “He goes, ‘Look at these clips on YouTube,’ ” Mr. Galifianakissaid. “ ‘It doesn’t hurt that much.’ And then the Warner Brothers lawyers stepped in, thank God.”
Well, there's always next time--and given advances in technology, perhaps within a few years he'll be able to tase the audience as well! Oh, think of the laughter we'll have! Between the blackouts, that is.

Let's give the last word to Todd, before he uses that darn taser again:
...[W]hen he tries to describe the plots of his films concisely, Mr. Phillips said recently, “the one-liners on my movies sound really retarded.” He chuckled briefly at his own analysis. “The movies, ideally, are better than they sound,” he added.
Speak for yourself, Mr. Phillips.


  1. Here's the deal: gay men call people ducks; women do not. Consider it part of the process to remove that word from your vocabulary. Please.

  2. Um, wow, Anonymous, that's not silencing or anything!

    I call folks all sorts of things depending on mood and audience, and I do things on the blog (like discuss my vagina) that I don't generally do in real life.

    But please don't let me stop you, Anonymous, I'm sure you'll continue to fill me in on the things I need to do as part of my "process." Anonymously, of course.

  3. Hey, wait a minute - Anonymous is MY user neame! Cat, can call me duck when ever you want - just keep writing! And I am not the only one who loves the duck. See here -

  4. Thanks to this post, I've had an epiphany: It's like Judd Apatow, Seth Rogan, Todd Phillips, etc. are in a race see who can be the biggest douchnozzle. Which explains a lot.

  5. FWIW, Anon 9:35, I do know of other women bloggers who call their readers "duckies," "little chickens," &c.

    I don't love it myself, and clearly it grates on you, but it isn't a gender thing.


    Hi, Cat :). Archives read... subscribing.

  6. Totally loving the use of "doucheoisie." Adding to my vernacular, pronto!

  7. while I don't agree with statement above about who is allowed proper usage of "ducks", I do also find it very grating. as a casual passerby who found your blog by other site's reference, that word alone put me off reading more, i know you're self-professed infuriated, but it might benefit your readership to rethink the word's continued use (or maybe vary it by calling us "tigers" or "dogs" or even "people" occasionally, or on second thought you might want to just call us people, or not even refer to us as anything in particular, just be glad we're reading what you have to say). you might have done this as i realize this is an old post, but i'm hesitant to read more.